First Day of PreSchool

Here is Aiden on his first day of preschool, teary-eyed after his sixth temper tantrum of the morning. (How does one pour apple juice the wrong way?)



I asked him if he wanted to hold his backpack. (It would look fabulous with his orange bracelet after all) That spurred the seventh temper tantrum. It's a GREAT day to send him to preschool!



By the time we get to the school, he's FINALLY happy! Yay!



Aiden had a total blast! However when I picked him up the teachers had a LOT to tell me about. Each day they get a parent report slip sent home with them and as you can see, they ran out of room writing about Aiden's issues:



Not listed is their concern about how accident-prone he is, the two falls-with-head-injuries he sustained and how he climbs on tables and refuses to sit still and do puzzles. That's our Aiden!

Another post so soon?

Hey, I've always got stuff to write. It's whether or not I have the time! Tonight I'm sick of looking at both Photoshop and Illy so the blog is getting some attention.

Aiden was his usual self today. Snuck a cupcake and two muffins he wasn't supposed to have before dinner and then boasted "Yummy toast!" as he took giant mouthfuls of the hamburger bun he scaled the fridge to reach. I have no idea how he did it but he did. He's also learned to open doors with child proof knob covers on them (back to the drawing board First Years designers) and breaks into the office to steal my orange hilighters. I scrubbed several marks off the door and (shhhh....Brian's X-Box) last week and am totally fine that Aiden now opts to scribble on his own hands. It gives me ten additional seconds to notice the house has fallen quiet and race to find him.

Breakfast Cupcakes: Seriously, I couldn't remember why these weren't allowed but I do know that cupcakes without frosting (aka: muffins) for breakfast sound much more reasonable to pediatricians/no-sugar mommies/persons over 50 so we made some "muffins". Read: spice cake mix with raisins. They're freaking good and well, they're cake so getting Aiden to eat them is....cake! That is if there are any leftover after Brian's late-night raids. I can hear the microwave door opening every couple of minutes, Bri, and I know that's not the most creative place to hide them but save some for the kiddo!

Crashin': It sounds the best when Aiden says it and right now EVERYTHING 'crashin's'. He still plays with the train table Brian made him for his birthday but rarely does Thomas make it around the loop. Typically he's happily driven a few millimeters before being plowed off the track by Frank the combine harvester from Disney's Cars. (Which, by the way, was NOT an easy character toy to find and now spends its days harassing Thomas, Percy and Sir Topham Hatt.) After a few good smash-up, bang-up sessions the entire slew of trains, tractors and wreckage parts get thrown in the doll stroller for a nice run around the house. These are just a few of the reasons why I call Brian once or twice a day at work to simply inform him "your child is crazy", laugh and hang up. Honestly, I should have him start blogging just about these phone conversations. He hears an Aiden story every 1-3 hours and they come so frequently, only the ones that have me laughing almost to tears do I recall long enough to record here!

There is one downside to all the crashin' and that is the marked-up walls. All cars at our house drive perpendicular to the floor, straight down the center of the wall three feet off the ground. He's been doing it so long (and ignoring my discipline) that there are actual tire marks at four different heights, showing his growth between the time this bad habit started and now. The small black shelf in the living room is known as The Impound and can often be found lined with vehicles that have been taken away for that hour/day/week/lifetime. His favorite drywall dinger is a car that has removeable rubber tires. (Remember the ones he put down the drain a month or two ago? Yep. That car.) Any ways, it's a cool looking slab but with it's tireless chrome rims, it looks like Aiden left it parked in a questionable corner of the playroom overnight and found it on cinder blocks the next morning. As soon as any other car is impounded, he goes for this candy-paint wall-chewer with it's beveled rims to REALLY show me what he can do to the walls. Brian, your child is crazy.


BTW: I guess I'd better post who got a new head in the photo below because Brian SAW me working on it and still thought it was him! LOL! No, it was ME who got the new head! Look all you want, you won't find a tell-tale mark. (Thanks to Kelsey who took two nearly-identical pictures!) If you want to search, the 'line' is in the middle of my necklace. Now if only I could keep my eyes open, look at the camera and not smile like I'm about to sneeze, huh Kels? ;)

Wait! One More Aiden Story!

I almost forgot to post this one! It happened the day after I posted the necklace pictures below. Aiden was playing in the living room while I was shuttling cleaning supplies from the kitchen to the bathroom. All of a sudden I heard Aiden cry out in pain and exclaim "Car! Diaper!" I turned to look at him, wondering how a car & diaper had anything to do with each other. He actually had tears in his eyes as he very clearly said "HURT! Penis!" through the sobs. That got my attention, since I'd like to have grandchildren someday, so I opened his diaper to find...indeed, a car. Parked vertically at a very uncomfortable angle and pinching his skin right where he said! LOL! He was fine but Aiden doesn't drive his cars into tunnels any more...or stash them in his diaper!

Everyday Adventures

I was busy these last two weeks with the bead party & craft day preparations but I've GOT to update the blog with some of the latest Aiden Antics:

The Changeling: We've experienced the collapse-to-the-ground tantrums that arose from us somehow opening the Playdough jar the wrong way and endured the screaming when we picked up the wrong tractor book (he has eight? nine?). The most recent annoyance is how Aiden will BEG to watch a movie BY NAME and then before the DVD tray can slide closed, he's INSISTING a different movie be put in. It's enough to make you want to rip your hair out. If I dare say "No, we're going to watch this movie" a full-blown tantrum begins. I've learned the easiest thing to do is spoil him rotten by buying cheap McDonald's toys off eBay that go along with all of his movies and when he starts this mess, I gather up the toys that go with the movie so they can all watch it together. *POOF* The living room is transformed into Disney World and he's completely happy. Thank you McDonalds for the toys. Sorry Aiden puked in the kid's area last week.

The Cravings: I've been through a pregnancy and not had my cravings change as fast as his. I have a love/hate relationship with dum dums. He'll beg for the tiny suckers all day long until I decide 9:45 is far enough from breakfast and close enough to lunch to give in. He likes to pick his own from the bag, not only to tell me what color it is but to keep tabs on how many there are left so he can beg for every single last one from the moment he wakes until he goes to bed. So annoying! Fast forward to some errand or chore I must get done while Aiden is contemplating a nuclear meltdown. I pull one of those microscopic suckers from my purse and the problem is solved. I'm sure I'll have hell to pay later for these bribes but seriously, my child is insane. I'll pay for the fillings.

So this morning Brian has caught my stomach bug and is making a LOT of noise. Aiden wakes up right as Bri is leaving the house, missing that last 30 minutes of sleep I have discovered is critical to having a good morning. Aiden tows bleary-eyed me to the kitchen and - no lie - in one breath says "WantSuckerWantPeachesWantCupcakesEatChocolateYogurtWantEggsEatPizzaWantNoodles..." He's still rattling on and I'm stuck somewhere around 'cupcake', trying to remember why my mother told me they weren't a breakfast food. (They do have eggs in them...) A nanosecond later - before I can blink, let alone inhale to answer him - Aiden's little body is thrashing on the floor in a screaming fit. Noodles it was for breakfast.

The Surprise: Last week Aiden began asking to go to the grocery store. This is more than odd, since the battle to keep him in the cart is so fierce, I frequently choose going without fresh produce for days before entertainging fellow HEBers with our dysfunctional shopping performance. However Brian SWORE he was an angel in the store on Saturday and when I ran up there today, again he was the perfect child I never knew I had. He sat politely in the cart, asked nicely to hold a Cars toy he saw and told me "No open, first pay for it" (OMGosh, he listens and understands me?) and entertained himself the entire time with the toy package, which stayed pristine, a balloon and a dum dum. Miraculously I was able to cut our weekly grocery bill by $40. Don't ask me how, I'm still reeling from the parallel universe-type shopping experience and I'm certain in my euphoria I forgot something expensive. Nevertheless, I thought his excellent behavior deserved a special treat so we came home and made the cupcakes he'd asked for at breakfast.

Aiden looooooves to crack eggs these days. Usually by the dozen and all at one time. So I had him pull a chair up and I let him hold the egg while I cracked it into the batter and then scrubbed him down before we added salmonella to the list of bugs we're battling this week. He very sweetly pointed to the KitchenAid whisk attachment and asked to lick it so I scraped most of the batter off and let him ingest salmonella that way. I instructed him to stand by me and put the whisk in the sink when he was done. THREE seconds later he's vanished with the whisk. I pull him over in the living room, smeared with chocolate cake batter and driving the licked-clean whisk in his stroller. It was so funny I had to get a picture of my chocolate-covered surfer dude!



Okay Silver family, does he not look like one of the Shannon boys?!! (For the rest of you, check out my SIL's blog to see Aiden's cousins in action. The craziness runs in the family....)

And that was just the stuff from today. I haven't even told you about the chronic pants-removal issue we're having. I swear, this place is like a Frat house. I don't even pretend to be in control any more. I just laugh, stain-treat and go on!

Lazy Summer Days

Not much going on here, except that I keep forgetting to bring my camera to our activities! Last week it was so quiet, we went to the pool five times in six days! I really enjoy running into friends & neighbors out there. I have a big bag of pool toys I take to dump out in the kiddie area to attract other toddlers who will play with Aiden so I can have a bit of a break. (He doesn't share well so the kids usually end up swapping toys which is great, too!) Unfortunately on Saturday the sun was really bad and we got burned. Aiden burned through THREE applications of SPF 50 and I burned through my sunblock and over my tan. It hurts to even wear clothes! LOL! Luckily Aiden and I both seem to tan out quick so today we're both looking more tan & less red. Aiden's hair is about three shades lighter blonde from the sun, too! He looks VERY cute - like a Malibu Ken doll! :D

Last Wednesday we drove out to Katy to visit the cousins and have a shopping day at Katy Mills. It was a BLAST! Every store we hit was having a clearance sale. At TCP I picked up 19¢ winter mittens & 99¢ pool shoes (for Schlitterbahn next week) and $3.99 newborn baby gift clothes at the Gymboree outlet. I WISH I'd had my camera there so I could take pictures of the mess we had at lunch. It's Aiden story time!

We stopped in the food court to eat lunch and as soon as food was placed on the table, I was fighting a squirming Aiden who wanted to sit in my lap but the second he was there, wanted back down onto his own swivel chair again. I was dodging the swinging chair back, trying to get him situated with his hamburger and sprite when I knocked my sprite and sent it flying. Julie (Brian's cousin-in-law) was quick to salvage it for me but the floor around us was soaked. Lunch proceeded with me coaxing every single bite down Aiden's throat and lots of ketchup smears on my clothes. The carousel in the food court was way too inviting so I went to pay for a ticket for Aiden to ride when I suddenly felt a rapid drip-drip-drip of something on my flip flop....and a VEEERY wet waist. Aiden had unleashed a flood and his diaper just couldn't absorb it fast enough, leaving us both pee-soaked. I had to change Aiden (screaming at full-volume) on a food court table - thank goodness I had thought to pack a full change of clothes - and then leave Aiden with Melissa (Brian's cousin) on the carosel while I went to go find a bathroom to change in, grateful I had just bought a pair of denim crops and a tee at Old Navy. I'm glad Julie and Melissa were there to hlp me laugh it off! Like I told them, these are the moments my life - and blog stories - are made of! LOL!

Wild Child

The church nursery workers swear Aiden is a sweet and fairly quiet, reserved child and I'm convinced they don't know which one is mine. That or whatever posesses him is left outside of the church and sits in the car waiting with 'banket'. Either way, this photo from our family shoot last weekend is my favorite candid EVER!



Notice we BOTH have him by the arm as he squeels and lunges forward with excitement, ready to tackle Kelsey who has just pulled a roll of smarties out of her bag. Smarties are like toddler heroin and yes, I've seen Aiden gnaw all the way through the plastic packaging just to get to them. At 9:30 in the morning. While I check my e-mail and wonder why he's been quiet for three consecutive minutes. (Hold on, while I'm thinking about it I need to go add Smarties to the grocery list...)

Let the Aiden Stories begin!

• I no longer worry about Aiden rushing into the street and being run over by a car because his latest habit has bought me a few more precious seconds for my panicked screams to reach his ears. No mater how fast he has gone barreling towards the road, he now skids to a stop and JUMPS off the curb into the street. Luckily for me he's not Olympic-bound so his longjump is only six inches and most of the time - since he is my son - he looses his balance and has to pause to regain it before bolting into traffic. Or back up the driveway to do it again. This is just one of the many reasons I don't need caffeine; the nearly constant drip of adrenaline provided by such antics keeps me feeling plenty awake. Gray hairs are sprouting up somewhere, I just know it...

• If I was ever disappointed by a husband who wasn't a comedian, I'll learn to be careful what I wish for because my son was born funny. He may be limited to five word sentences but his timing and delivery are flawless. Most of my day is narrated for me in a nasily, finger-up-his-nose toddler voice. He'll ramble past the bathroom and announce "Mommy poops" any time I'm in there loudly blowing my nose. Then, when I get frustrated at the dog (who stands so close to me that I nearly fall and kill us both several times a day), Aiden will shout a string of incoherent scoldings in an oddly familiar tone that typically begin and end with 'Maysher bahd dahg". I'm not complaining about this one because Major is usually so upset at being shouted at by a toddler in a foreign language that he disappears for half an hour. Meanwhile Aiden continues to throw astute observations in with his usual banter. Such as "OW! OW! Mommy hurt! *Mumble Mumble something*" when I (yet again) injure myself and I'm spewing "freaking stupid *mumble, mumble, dont-want-Aiden-to-learn-all-these-words*" in the hallway. Then there was the week I tried DESPERATELY to teach Aiden the color brown. Every time I would put on his brown crocs or brown cargo shorts, I would label the color. One day he said "brown crocs" and I clapped and squeeled like a crazy woman. This was promptly followed by "brown mole" and a sticky little toddler finger pointing out the birthmark on my neck. Okay, next color... Oh, and last but not least is the one that crushes my heart - and he KNOWS IT! If I'm in the office, he'll announce "Mommy Busy" and follow it with a prompt, forceful office door slamming. Nothing pulls me away from my computer faster and lately I've gotten to the point that I'm hardly on the computer during the day at all. It hasn't stopped Aiden from using this trick, though. If my arms are full of toys I'm picking up and I can't get him a juice box that second? SLAM! "Mommy Busy!" Running the vacuum because he decided to color the living room grout lines crayon-style with pretzel sticks? *Rattles the closed-and-baby-locked office doors* "Mommy Busy!" Secretly I think he loves seeing the look on my face and hearing whatever response I give him because it's sure to be chock-full of new vocabulary words (like 'ridiculous', 'pretzel dust everywhere' and 'grout sealant'). He's got character, that's for sure!

• Aiden is honestly good about putting things in the trash and throwing his own trash away half the time without being asked. (I know teens with less compliance rates than that!) Unfortunately he likes throwing things away so much that I'm down a couple hair clips, some chapstick and an entire box of gallon-size ziplock bags. Brian comes to my rescue and pulls the obvious items - like Thomas, Percy and James - out of the garbage but he seems less inclined to rescue my girlie things since they already clutter up the bathroom and he figures Aiden is doing him a favor. It's okay, it probably won't be the last time the boys team up against me! LOL!

• Last week we couldn't leave Build-a-Bear without the blue & red stroller. The stuffed monkey in his cute swimming trunks is still brand new, unplayed-with in the box. The stroller, however, just turned over 100 miles and is the number one reason both the walls and my toenails will need a new coat of paint this week. The thing gets a five star crash-test rating from me. It has been slammed into every vertical surface in this house - including one sneaky trip into the garage to bang it against the big metal garage door panels - and it still looks brand new. Wish I could say the same for my pedicure...

• I've been buying a few things off Ebay including some Thomas the Train toys & Disney pajamas for Aiden. Today one of my winnings arrived in the mail and Brian had Aiden bring the package to me. I told Aiden it was actually for him as I ripped the top of the package open and handed it back. Like a child who has gotten to many socks for Christmas, he flatly and matter-of-factly said "Aiden's Jammies" as he peered blankly into the package. It made me laugh out loud to hear Brian's cynicism in his little two year-old voice! He's right, though. I let him open all the pajamas when they arrived while I opened most of the trains and hid them so I could dole them out during emergencies. Actually, to Aiden's delight, the package contained a new Wall-E robot toy. (I swear, eBay is the only place you can find Wall-E stuff!) I hope the surprise encourages him to have a positive outlook on life. And things that come in the mail. ;)

• And lastly, when I got Aiden up from his nap today, I barely had laid him down for a diaper change when he rattled off "want pancakes, want yogurt, want pizza, want Taco Bell", listing all his favorite foods as fast as he could. I blinked as he stared back at me expectantly and then I cracked a smile when I realized what he wanted to know. "You're hungry for lunch!" "LUNCH! Want lunch! Hungry lunch! Mommy wears shirt." Say WHAT?!! Since when do I not wear a shirt to lunch?!!

He's right again. While I typically do remain clothed for my meal, he does not since I take off his shirt to avoid doing twice as much laundry. I'm happy to hear he prefers his lunch dates not to be topless. :)

P.S. As I was writing all this I realized why Aiden narrates most of my day. It's because every evening and weekend I repeat everything he says for Brian who isn't as well-trained in translating gibberish. Aiden must believe it is good communication, or at least the foundation of good humor. Let's hope we can come to an arrangement at some point in the future where I'll agree to stop translating if he'll agree to quit labeling every hiccup, sneeze and cough as "mommy poops".

Caught Blue-Handed

Aiden and I made playdough for the first time today and I let him select colors from the McCormic Neon food colors I bought at Easter. The recipe called for kneading food coloring into the dough. The lime green worked well and rinsed easily off my hands. The blue was a whole different story... the photo below is after ELEVEN hand washings:



I look like a robbed a bank! LOL! Here's the playdough culprit:



And the three we made. I left the third white - we are DONE with food coloring for today!



Of course the playdough held Aiden's interest for maybe four minutes before he realized I could only yell at him from the sink while my hands were covered in blue suds. Then the REAL fun began. He made a bee-line for the open bathroom cabinet and had a delightful time making a baby powder fog storm.

Meanwhile I discovered that twenty-something hand washings with a scrub sponge, two exfoliating sugar scrubs and a one-minute bleach soak will remove the bluest blue food coloring from your skin. Bonus: My hands have never felt so smooth and soft! I'm sorry my friends missed seeing me with blue hands but I thought you would enjoy the pictures! ;)


"Look Mom, Blue Hands" No-Cook Playdough Recipe:

1 cup flour
3/8 cup salt
3/8 cup hot tap water
food coloring* (optional)

*If using food coloring add hand soap, Scotch Brite sponge, Bath & Body Works sugar scrub and Clorox bleach to the list of required materials.

Combine flour, salt & water in a bowl; mixture will be crumbly. Knead until a dough forms, adding food coloring gradually as you knead if desired. Play! Refrigerate dough in ziplocks for up to one week. Then scrub & bleach hands while making empty threats from the sink.

Brian & Aiden: I'm Outnumbered

Brian has been wanting to make the blog lately. I think he meant that I should post pictures of his most recent projects - and I'll get to that eventually - but for now let me tell you about our most recent discussion: My "spoiling" of Aiden by letting him do "whatever he wants". Brian had to fish three rubber Hot Wheels tires....along with several beads and lime green sequins...to clear his clogged bathroom sink drain. He wasn't happy. Personally I find it hilarious and laugh it off as one of the many inconveniences of living with a toddler. (I still have not found my favorite hairbrush he hid last September...and there's no telling what is down my sink drain.)

In fact, Brian is only aware of about 10% of the antics that go on during any given week. (Read: He only has to clean up 10% of them) For example, here's a story from this week: I usually store our pool bag in Aiden's room since that is where I keep the swim diapers & baby sunblock. It wasn't a big deal until I went to check on him while I thought he was napping and found him sitting in his crib pulling the plastic bristles out of a hairbrush with his teeth. The hairbrush had been in the bottom of the pool bag I'd left several feet away from his crib. Strewn and forcefully thrown about his ENTIRE ROOM were Nemo swim diapers, pool toys, hundreds of bits of shredded wet wipes, our hideous community pool photo ID cards and a half-dozen spit-out hairbrush bristles. I had all evidence of the hairbrush-ruining incident cleaned up and the pool bag put back together and stored in our room before Brian ever saw it. Not a big deal - the hairbrush had been a freebie any ways!

Brian, however, finds it incredibly difficult to believe that Aiden can get into so much trouble in such a short period of time and surely I'm not watching him. This is sometimes true. Sometimes I am on the phone, sending an e-mail, getting an aspirin for my Aiden-induced headache, scrubbing down the high chair tray for the fourth time, searching for blanket, removing Chuck E. Cheese tokens from the printer's SD card slots, picking up freshly-strewn DVDs, removing Yogos from Aiden's nostrils with tweezers, mopping up newly-spilled mystery sticky stuff, coaxing Aiden that he can color as much as he wants with orange crayons on paper and not on the walls, stain treating his third? fourth? t-shirt that day, wrestling to keep Mater, Thomas the Train and a sippy cup out of the filling washer long enough for me to get his sheets in, plucking him off the top of the table/counter/toilet for at least the tenth time that hour or - heaven forbid - going to the bathroom or letting Brian's stupid doberman outside so it can go to the bathroom. Most of the time I'm well aware of the mess Aiden is making and I pause, make a decision about whether I want to fight this battle or not, and if it's not too distructive I let him continue. Pulling tires off Hot Wheels cars using his Guido forklift character? Fine. Throwing them in the sink where they roll down the drain so fast I barely have the time to identify them as tires and not raisins? Not okay but we'll give Brian the heads up that his liquid Drano isn't going to to the trick. ;)

And that's what got me in trouble: Three tires and a few "pirate treasure" beads town his drain. PLEASE. You should have seen what he did with the orange silly putty on Friday...after he bopped your dog with your Xbox controller, rearranged several of your do-not-touch-daddy's-books on the bookshelf, pressed the buttons on your alarm clock, threw froot loops in your hamper, pulled out all your boyscout troop books to find the one with the fish in it (he's earned that merit badge by they way, if for no other reason than I've had to read it twice) and threw several pieces of your dry-clean-only clothing on the ground to dance on top of. Aiden you owe me. I cleaned up all the other evidence (while you had moved on to make the next mess) and I'm sorry I missed the tires in the sink. Brian, congrats on making the blog.

In case you were wondering why there are so freaking many syrafoam peanuts shoved behind every piece of living room furniture, here's the photographic evidence:

(I got a delivery, opened the box to check the order, pulled the items out and got all of seventeen seconds to myself before there was yet another mess to clean up! I insisted Aiden get his little green OXO dust pan to help with these ridiculous packing peanuts that were literally running down the hall and behind the TV stand on the tiniest AC air current. )

Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere....

Clean up, Clea- aw, forget it. This is boring!

If I spent my entire day on the computer, Aiden would have accidentally killed himself ten times over. And that would have been in just his first six months of life! :) Instead I am watching him - with the camera ready - and we have hundreds of funny pictures of the delightfully endearing things he does in these fast-fleeting years to enjoy for the rest of our years together. In the end, it really is worth living with the extra messes. I love you both so much! Sink tire wars and all. ;)

Aiden Stories

Sometimes my blog entries need no other title than that. I have a fun new routine of telling Brian about all the hilarious things Aiden said or crazy things he did during the day and let me tell you, it's a riot! My sister-in-law has a column running down her blog of the latest things her little girl Molly has said. I am really going to have to start doing that....

Aiden Discovers Love Bugs

On Saturday I took some "me" time and went to HomeGoods just for fun. I ended up buying Aiden a cute little outdoor bug catching kit for our afternoon play time on the font porch. He's wanted me to catch love bugs in the jar so he can look at them through the magnifying glass lid so today I plucked a flower cluster from a bush where a pair was eating and tossed it in the jar so he could observe the bugs drinking nectar. He gazed at the pair for a moment and then said "Bugs stuck!" I stifled a giggle. He peered even more intently into the jar and then I saw his forehead crease as his eyebrows lowered and he said "Bugs stuck.....NAUGHTY!" This time I about fell off my camp chair! Yes, indeed, the bugs are "stuck" in a naughty way. :)
(Nevermind that he was referring to the way the female of this particular bug couple was dragging the poor male around by his nether parts, going wherever she pleased and leaving the other bug flapping to keep his balance as if he's being dragged. Aiden has been learning at toddler social gatherings that pushing, shoving and dragging others is impolite behavior and apparently he thought the bugs needed a scolding! )

Lately I've decided that I wanted a lot more family time and that I needed to get better about taking pictures of the silly little moments. Last week we enjoyed making ice cream cones or going and getting snow cones to eat out on the front porch at sunset. It has made for a delightful and relaxing end to the day and it is something I hope we continue to do several nights per week. Here are some photos of other things we have been up to:



Here is the tent Aiden and I made the day it was raining cats & dogs and there wasn't much to do besides curl up and watch a movie!



He loved the tent. He especially loved laying sideways and watching the blanket overhead move as he kicked the chairs. (I had to re-make the tent about six times)



A quick pic of me & 80 one evening after finishing our ice cream cones on the porch!



Big bear hug for Bri!



He sure does love his daddy!



Ah, yes, the counter pic. This was the only way to get Aiden to understand that a frozen eggo waffle has to cook in the toaster BEFORE he can eat it. The previous three mornings he had screamed the entire five minutes it took the waffle to go from frozen to syruped & set in front of him. This particular morning I was too tired to fight him so I put him in charge of watching for toaster fires. I caught him lying down on the job...

And then we finger painted....



He was having fun with it until I wanted him to quit flinging paint and hold still for a picture! I'm sensing some attitude... In reality, he was bored with finger painting after six minutes. Clean up took over thirty five minutes so I don't think we'll be finger painting a whole lot but this was his first time ever so it was worth it!



Okay, okay, THIS was HILARIOUS! First, the back story: for Aiden's two year old photo shoot I bought him a skateboard and covered it in bright-colored, boyish vinyl decals. The problem is wall vinyl doesn't stick to the sandpaper-like surface of a skateboard very well so Aiden has been able to easily peel them off. Last friday Aiden smeared his clothes up with yogurt and the majority of his lunch so I stripped him down and sent him to go play. NO LIE, he wandered into the living room not ten minutes later with this biohazard decal placed on his arm tatoo-style! He'd done it completely on his own! I just about died laughing - it is so HIM!!!! (Not shown: the orange skateboard decal stuck to his butt!)

And there you have it. The most recent Aiden stories. :) Gosh I love this little boy!

And So It Begins

When we put Aiden to bed last night I was well-aware of the fact that Aiden might have nightmares after seeing giant aliens & monsters on a 40 foot screen. I was right, he didn't make it past 10pm before he called out for me in a small, frightened voice. I went into his room and he immediatly informed me "see window, monsters!" Monsters outside his window; I knew this was coming.

Luckily for me (and unfortunately for Aiden) I happen to be educated in just how short of a short-term memory toddlers have. Here's a trick if you ever need it: toddlers will lie in bed and think about the most recent novel things they have experienced. If they're thinking about scary monster movies, introduce something else totally new and interesting and the previous images will be replaced with these new things to think about. I was practically smirking to myself when I dug out the soothing Baby Einstein DVD's Aiden hasn't seen since he was 10 months old (see: too young to create long-term memories) and popped in Baby Galileo since that is his favorite Baby Einstein book. Aiden cuddled up with me and was soon engrossed with all the moon, star & planet images. Long story short, and three Baby Einstein videos later, we have him in bed and he sleeps in until 8 this morning. Sweet! I'm fairly pleased with myself until Aiden asks for "star blanket moon mowie" this morning. Fine, Baby Galileo goes in again. At least it's educational.

Okay, TWO repeat plays later and I am sick of that overly-sugary voice and annoying merry-go-round music so I put on my ipod to give my ears a break. I'm humming to myself when Aiden comes up, pokes my leg and patiently waites for me to hit pause and meet his eyes before his eyebrows drop and he very sternly says "Noooooo, mommy." HA! MY humming was interrupting his ridiculously repetitive Baby Galileo 'mowie'? If only he knew how frequently his tantrums interrupted my grocery shopping....

And so begins the mutual scolding war. I just PRAY that I can keep a straight face the next time he juts one hip to the side, slightly cocks his head as he thrusts his chin forward (OMGosh, I think I do that!), rearranges his features to make the exact 'serious' face I always give him and drops his voice to mimic mine as he tells me I have done something he doesn't like! ROFL!

Another Quick Aiden Story: As I was sitting here quickly typing the above story, Aiden brought me the red plastic clip that came with his birthday balloons. Uh, thanks kid... Then he brought me a clear plastic outlet cover. I had no idea where that came from and was looking at it to see if it had visible signs of him prying it out from the wall when he returned and handed me a large button-cell battery I'd never seen before. I shouted "Aiden, what the heck?!! Where are you getting all this?!!" He instantly gives me a sad puppy look and says "Mommy no screaming". I smile and say okay, biting my tongue as I exit the office and pass a half dozen other random oddities scattered on the floor and see that he's been exploring the darkest back corners of the kitchen junk drawer after completely ransacking two rooms in a matter of minutes. HOW?!!! This kid obviously has talent. He's Dash from the Incredibles, I'm telling you. I will probably be jumpy, slightly hysterical and have circles under my eyes until he leaves to go to college!

And then I'll miss all of this and wish I had taken more pictures and made more 'mowies'. :)

Aiden Stories & Practical Jokes

The Practical Joke: We've been playing this practical joke on Aiden, which started out as an accident, became a total riot and then blew up in our faces. A couple weeks ago I hopped on eBay and bought a Pongo (101 Dalmatians) toy for Aiden since he has been loving the movie. When it arived one day last week, I didn't open the package until after he had gone to bed. In a moment of inspiration, I decided to set Pongo on top of the DVD player to distract Aiden from pressing all the little buttons, as is his morning routine. Plus I thought it a great way to not spoil him too much by having the toy just 'appear'.

The next morning Aiden gets up and walks past the toy several times. (Oblivious. He is SO my child.) Mid-morning he asks for the "puppy movie" and, since I'm already mopping up his messes, in goes the movie. The opening credits were playing when he spied Pongo. His entire expression changed - his eyes bulged, his mouth fell open and I'm pretty sure he went a shade whiter than usual. For the next three *SILENT* minutes he carefully paced the floor in front of Pongo, examining him from all sides and putting his face slightly closer to it to see if it would move. But he wouldn't touch it! Finally he got up the nerve to gently pet the toy and, discovering it was plastic, shouted "PAWGO" and delightfully played with him the rest of the morning. About 30 minutes later I caught Aiden peering in the tiny speaker holes on the TV to see if there were any other characters in there. Then I realized Aiden thinks Pongo came out of the TV!

Being the terrible mother - who feeds fruit snacks before 10 am - that I am, I couldn't resist repeating the joke when his Nemo bath toys (also from eBay but for his birthday) arrived a couple days later. The next morning was a complete repeat when Aiden saw Nemo sitting on top of the DVD player, grinning at him. That day he began looking in the speaker holes of the TV once every couple of hours while I kept my hand clapped over my mouth to muffle my hysterical laughter! Since Brian had missed all the fun before, Dory came out to play that evening after he got home. It wasn't quite as exciting because Aiden was starting to expect that Disney Characters escape the television set every so often and wait for him on top of the DVD player.

Of course nothing ever works out as smoothly as I plan with Aiden. The day after Nemo and Dory appeared I heard this awful racket and found him trying to send his entire duplo train into the TV through the same "magic portal", which resulted in me fishing duplo pieces out of the X Box disk tray and from behind every crevice of the TV stand. He looked at me in cynical disbelief when I explained that things could neither come out of or go in to the TV. I admit I had set myself up for this.

And I just couldn't quit. When Aiden's birthday gift from my parents arrived with a new Disney Cars toy inside, I decided to save it for an 'emergency' when I would desperately need something to distract him (read: less than 24 hours later when I wouldn't let him flood the tomato plant with any more water from his watering can). Since it had been a day or two since a character came out of the TV, I ran for the toy and plopped the brand new Red the Fire Truck on top of the DVD player while he was throwing the contents of my tupperware cabinet in the garbage can. (He'd obviously found his own activity to replace tomato drowning.) I plopped Aiden directly in front of the new toy so I could retrieve the plasticware and put the cabinet back together. Aiden cautiously poked with one gentle finger at the fire truck and WHEEEW - WHEEEW - WHEEEW it's siren went off. He was TERRIFIED. In fact he utterly refused to touch the fire truck again and, to this day, still has not played with the gift from my parents. (Sorry mom & dad.) Red now guards the tupperware cabinet.

The Syrup Story: This morning I decided to clean out my office. Ten minutes into the ordeal and I realized I had way too much cut vinyl sitting around so I e-mailed neighbors to come and get it for free. I took one TWENTY SECOND phone call from a friend to let me know she was on her way, hung up the phone and heard Aiden, who had suddenly appeared beside me, exclaim "YUMMY!!!!" and squeeze a nearly-full syrup bottle so a stream shot volcano-style out the top while he tried to catch it in his mouth. I'm pretty sure I nearly fainted when a river of syrup splashed across our five month-old office floors and pooled in the bevels between each board. I stripped Aiden on the way to his crib, thanking the Lord he's too afraid of falling to climb out of it, and raced back to the office praying that syrup was too cohesive to slip between the tongue and groove planks. On the way back I noticed the drip-drip-SPLAT pattern of syrup that extended from the pantry, down the hall, covered the entry way and drenched the office, marking exactly where Aiden had been standing when he made another syrup geyser to drink from.

I had just thrown the last paper towel in the trash when my girlfriend arrived. (This stuff is always instantly funny to anyone not experiencing it but I was able to laugh, too!) The now half-empty syrup bottle went back in the pantry and I was extra careful that the door stayed closed all day and that Aiden had plenty of water to try and dilute the pure sugar he'd just drank.

Along comes 4:30 and Aiden's sugar rush is in full effect. He's running FULL SPEED from the back door to the front door, pushing his ride-on toy and smashing it into the doors at each end with every pass while screaming giddily at the top of his lungs. You can imagine the headache that is building. I was currently doing the dishes when I made Aiden stop and wipe down his little table to end the SQEEEEEEE *BANG* cycle of repetitive noise. I throw something in the trash and instruct him to throw his paper towel away when he's done with the table. I have my back turned but I'm mentally counting the seconds, knowing I'll need to close the door once I get the big pan I'm working on scrubbed and rinsed. It's then that I hear "YUMMY! PANCAKES!" and whirl around in horror to see Aiden sitting on his ride-on toy with the syrup bottle completely vertical and his head tiled back, chugging the stuff like Buddy the Elf.

My eyeballs are throbing by the time I strip him out of his second syrup-soaked outfit for the day and rinse his face, hands and chest free of sticky residue. I call Brian to tell him today is one of THOSE days where he kindly needs to come home as fast as possible, which is never fast enough but I can at least collect my thoughts knowing help is on the way. I cleaned up the mess and made dinner while Brian came home to find Aiden strapped in his high chair watching a disney movie over the only patch of un-sticky tile in the living room with his bare diapered body still reeking of maple syrup. And my friends wonder what I am busy doing all day long!

Not Naughty

So here are the latest Aiden phrases & stories:

Aiden woke up this morning and immediately informed me his blanket had caught on fire. ("Mama, blanket fire.") What is this child dreaming about?!!

Actually, the blanket on fire comment was a nice change from the usual string of phrases. Nearly every morning when Aiden wakes up he tells me that fire is hot, scissors cut and chemicals spray. This is his run-down to let me know he remembers and understands all the dangerous things I have taught him about. Perhaps every morning he's telling me that he knows they're dangerous and would like me to butt out so he can play with them and not be uniterrupted today.

He told me yesterday, when I was putting on his shoes to go to the park, that his shoes were crazy. ("Shoes crazy.")

If he moves something heavy, climbs down or does anything dangerous he now tells himself "Careful" before I can. If I hear him say careful from the other room, I usually come running. Today he caught the fridge door before it closed and said "More- careful! Heavy!" as he grunted and carried a 2-liter of Sprite across the kitchen to me. He let out a sigh of relief when I took the nearly-full bottle from him and then said in a very polite tone, to correct his earlier statement, "Mama, more Sprite".

He's resorted to shouting at the top of his lungs "BAHDAHGGEHOWWWT!" (bad dog, get out) whenever Major is in his way. Ironically, it's in the same pitch and tone that I use to shout at Major when he's underfoot in the kitchen. Wonder where he got it....LOL!

When he got bored with eating his breakfast this morning he sat in his high chair and made a little whimper sound and then said "Whine". I told him he was right, that was whining. He made a new whining sound and again said "whine". "Mmm, hmm. That's right Aiden." This was followed by a third, SUPER OBNOXIOUS whining sound that I usually don't hear until it's melt-down time around 5:30 in the evening. I glanced over my shoulder from flipping pancakes and asked him why he was whining. He beamed and said "WHINE!" as if he'd finally figured out exactly what noise I am referring to when I say "No whining, tell me in words." ROFL!

Also new is his tendency to check in with me about his behavior throughout the day by saying "Not naughty" as he does various random things. This has gotten us a couple laughs in public already. It is nice when he pauses to ask "not naughty?" before he pulls out the trash but it's downright hysterical when he asks before he eats his peaches, picks up his Mac truck or takes a drink of his sippy cup. Yesterday he informed me the park was 'not naughty'. Tonight when he asked before climbing on the kitchen table, Brian told him that was naughty. His eyes zoomed to my (forced) serious face and I told him his dad was right. He looked quite sad and immediately climbed down. I made sure he got hugs and attention from us both and wondered if he's asking if we're MAD at him, as opposed to him truly understanding the meaning of naughty. I'll have to watch that - knowing he's unconditionally loved by us is much, much more important than behavior. Besides, if he didn't misbehave I'd have nothing to talk about on my blog!

We've been to the park a lot this week. Yesterday we stopped by one he hasn't been to since he was 9 months. It has a echo tube system where you can talk into the cone end of a metal pipe that goes under the ground and someone on the other side of the playground can hear you through the cone pipe on the other end. Aiden walked cautiously up to one quiet end of the pipe, froze and then told me in a very concerned tone that it was a shower. (He doesn't like showers because he's accidentally turned ours on while he was in the tub and got hosed.) His next fifteen worried references to the 'shower' never failed to elicit giggles from the other parents.

Today after a diaper change Aiden demanded a wet wipe. He proceeded to tell his blanket it was "messy" and then wiped it down with the wet wipe. Later he told blanket it was "not naughty", probably to soothe any hurt feelings he caused after calling it messy.

While I was busy cooking dinner tonight Major started to walk into the kitchen and I gave a quiet command to send him right back out. When he retreated to go stand with Aiden by the table I heard Aiden tell him "Good dog not naughty".

My sister Sheena had baby Kyler by C-section on Monday and she e-mailed us a picture that afternoon. Aiden looooooves babies so I showed him his new cousin and explained it was Aunt Sheena & Uncle Tyler's baby. He very excitedly shouted "BABY! Uncle Sheena baby! Baby Ky-yur!"

Two weeks ago I was cleaning out my jewelry drawer when Aiden found a brown zippered jewelry case with a mirror inside the lid that caught his interest. While he was playing with it an idea hit me and I quickly filled it with some costume jewelry and told him it was pirate treasure. Now he goes to my drawer and asks to play with the "Pirah Trahsur" almost every single day!

I am in the habit of labeling every object that I can think of for Aiden, which is why he knows what some random things - like whisks and chemicals - are called. Today he was watching me put on my makeup and was labeling the products for me. I realized he knows the names of more makeup items than Brian, who still gets eye shadow, eye liner and mascara confused. However, Aiden insists it is all yucky and will throw my entire makeup bag in the trash the moment I turn my back!

On Sunday I scolded Brian for not letting Aiden play with his Transformer and he retorted that I don't let Aiden play with my craft supplies so I can't complain. Yesterday I gave Aiden two flower embellishments to play with. This morning I found them both clean, uncrumpled and sitting neatly on the floor in front of my craft closet doors, as if to say 'These are hideous. You can have them back. I'll trade you for a Transformer.'

You'll hear Aiden say "Get Down" a LOT. Most of the time he says it as he climbs off play equipment (or the kitchen table). We get a big kick out of his most recent use. He will come up to us, raise his arms and shout "GET DOWN" to be picked up. We keep correcting him (Pick me up) but Get Down has stuck.

We have a frequent scenario of Aiden standing somewhere between the kitchen and living room, whining or saying something fast & garbled that I can't understand. So I'll pick him up and ask "What do you want?". Lately he's shaken things up by asking to be picked up (Get Down) and then - before I can ask him - will say "What do you want". If I DARE follow his question by repeating "What do you want?" then he'll throw a huge tantrum, as if it is SO OBVIOUS what he wants! Yesterday I realized he thinks the phrase "what do you want" means "let's stroll through the pantry and see what interests you". Probably because I frequently pick him up in the pantry so he can see what is in on the shelves and in the snack basket. Hence the tantrum - he believes he has clearly asked to be taken into the pantry and I'm stupidly echoing him for my own fun!

And probably the funniest: Aiden often follows his own wind breaking with "I fart", no matter where we are. This is, of course, in addition to the "I poop" bomb he's most likely to shout in the grocery store and other crowded public places. (Except his p's aren't clear so he says "I foof" which isn't nearly as clear as "I fart".) He seems to ignore all my atempts to teach him to say 'excuse me' but today followed "I fart" with "thank you". Seriously. BOYS.

And this one just makes me melt: This week he's been pulling a wedding photo of Brian and I gently off the shelf, quietly studying it and then whispering "Mama, dada" before placing it carefully back on the shelf. Today he held it and quietly sighed "Dada work" before he put the frame away. Aaaaawwww!

Tay's Day

Children add enjoyment (and spice) to our lives. If you're kinda bland, you tend to get a spicy child. If you're already pretty firey yourself, apparently it gets extra-concentrated before being passed on to your offspring. At least that's my theory.

The hilarity of my life is not lost on me. I might be ready to pull my hair out around mid-day while the chaos ensues around me but before dinner is over, I'm struggling to tell Brian all the details over my involuntary laughter! Today is a perfect example. In 72 hours I'll have who-knows-how-many family members here for Christmas and I decided to brave the grocery store this morning. With Aiden. I should know better by now but I'm working on a tight holiday schedule and the stress is causing lapses in my judgement. I had a shopping list as long as my arm and when I had to park in the only open spot on the end of one of the furthest rows during what would have normally been a slow time of the day, I knew this wasn't going to be fun.

After thirty minutes of being polite to slow-moving strangers who are shopping without an irritable toddler, I only have the first ten items checked off my list and I'm getting nowhere fast. Every aisle is a maze of carts and the crawling pace has me grumbling and Aiden shouting. I was about ready to plow down every single middle-aged man ambling slowly through the mayhem, clutching a grocery list written in their wife's hand, staring blankly at the shelves and looking lost while managing to block both directions of aisle traffic as they squint at the rows of products in front of them. I felt even more hostile when, for the first time, some decrepit, sloth-paced strangers actually began making rude little sighs and sounds in the back of their throats at Aiden's misbehavior as we closed in on hour two of shopping and he hit the stage beyond meltdown that I like to call 'throwdown'.

It always starts off slow, with Aiden's mild boredom turning into misbehavior which turns into blatant naughtiness, hoping it will mean immediate removal from whatever horrid store I have drug him into. Today I was combing the first-aid section for band-aids for about thirty seconds when I turned back towards the cart to find Aiden sitting perfectly still, hands polietly in his lap and his eyes gazing innocently into mine, with thirteen bottles of calamine lotion strewn across his seat, lined neatly in the handlebar basket and shoved into both of the cart's drink holders. The sudden appearance of so many bottles startled me and I let out a laughing "What?!!" because I hadn't heard a sound as he'd pulled them from the shelf!

Not five minutes later we're on the cereal aisle, where I'm trying to quickly pick a hot cocoa flavor while traffic backs up, and I hear the sound of plastic stressing and fracturing beside me. I wheel around to find Aiden removing a long, thin hanging display from the shelf ledge, saying "Oh, no! I break it" while a half-dozen unimpressed shoppers watch over my shoulder. (Where in the HECK are all the grumpy old people coming from today?) I give Aiden a reminder not to touch hanging displays - with a poorly concealed humorous grin - as I wheel us away. I'm trying to keep his discomfort to a minimum so when I see that the baking aisle is moving about as fast as a post office line, I detour over to the toy section to hunt for some stocking stuffers. I'm looking at cars when a man walks by, spies Aiden's spikey hair and playfully says "Hey cool dude!" Without missing a BEAT Aiden repeats "coo dude!" in a delighted voice and then instantly drops to a more serious tone to add "Daddy at work", as if to ensure the stranger knows who this cool dude and his mommy love. I freeze, keeping my back turned, and hold my breath to keep it from rushing out in laughter at my toddler's hilariously random responses! I never saw the guy or his reaction but I hope he wasn't too offended that a toddler pointed out his dad was working when he wasn't! LOL!

I end up finding some tiny Tonka cars & trucks on clearance for 50¢ and a Lightning McQueen book. Stocked with new distrations, I get in the baking aisle line. I select my items and am ambling along, waiting to exit the end of the row when we pass the bags of baking morsels and Aiden begins very loudly and clearly repeating "WANT CANDY", enunciating every word with increased volume. How do you explain that something on this aisle that looks like tiny Hershey's kisses actually doesn't taste like regular Hershey's kisses to a 21 month-old? The place is so full of fifty-somethings I don't even glance around to acknowledge the judgemental stares.

The next episode is in the meat & cheese section where Aiden feels it is his personal duty to ensure that our shred cheese is also mashed before it gets home. When I select a steak, one of Aiden's favorite dinners, he drops the cheese and shouts "STEAK!" I hear a few chuckles from the younger dads around me as I back the cart away, running over the dropped bag of mashed cheese I didn't see, and head for the deli.

Aiden is 'cart surfing' (standing up in his seat making animal noises) by the time we're there and the length of the deli line brings me to a screeching hault. My son's loud and accurate monkey noises - complete with butt-in-the-air bouncing motions - have all sixteen pairs of eyes on me in an instant. A sweet grandmother helping at the deli counter smiles and slightly nods in the direction of a cafeteria cart of popular pre-sliced, bagged & priced deli cuts intended to spare those bedraggled by the holidays. Bless her heart, she even comes over to entertain (the now neighing) Aiden so I can sort through the pile to find turkey & swiss cheese. Of course the second someone else pays him attention, Aiden plops his little bum on the seat and gazes at her in angelic silence, with the same melting smile that makes you pay ridiculous amounts for a grocery store Lightning McQueen book.

Second to last stop is the produce section and my least favorite place to have Aiden. Every fruit & vegetable I place in the cart is followed by pleading and a temper tantrum, only to be interrupted by the next fresh food and corresponding temper tantrum. (These have started over completely raw steaks as I put them in the basket, too. Ridiculous!) I almost felt relieved when I bagged up three jumbo heads of broccoli, knowing Aiden wouldn't be going for a sixth round of 'Mom, WANT!' and fake crying. Stupid me.

I'm trying to sneak strawberries in the cart without him seeing when a broccoli floret hits me in the cheek. I glance up and Aiden cautiously says "I fro....?" and then looks at me as if to say 'could you please name that vegetable for me?' I try to keep a serious face as I ask "Did you throw broccoli at me?" but seriously, I'm only slightly better behaved in public than he is. He thinks about it for a second and repeats "brocoyucky". I can't contain my laughter! I'm trademarking the name because I'm certain millions of children will agree it is, indeed, brocoyucky and any book with such a humorous title would be wildly popular among the refuse-to-eat-it crowd!

The last item I need is vanilla ice cream so off to the frozen foods we go. I notice Aiden is oddly still, like he's watching something. I had just pried the broccoli from his little grip for the fifth time and in a much more menacing mommy tone told him he was to not touch the brocoyucky again. I pull the ice cream off the shelf and as the fogged-up glass door swings shut, it reveals Aiden, head tilted all the way back with his hands wrapped tightly around the thick base of the largest broccoli stem, trying to shove the entire head into his mouth. He looks like a giant trying to swallow an uprooted oak tree whole. Stunned and exasperated, I shout "SON!" He jumps and then, in one rapid move, quickly pitches the broccoli over his head into the basket and shouts back "NAUGHTY BROCOYUCKY!"

I'm barreling the cart towards the checkout lanes, promising myself I really will run over anyone that gets in the way of my plan to get this child down for a nap as soon as possible. I'm in luck and find a cashier just finishing up a transaction with no one else in line. Unloading the cart brings back all the same tantrums I endured while loading the cart. When the broccoli goes on the conveyor belt, Aiden's hissy fit hits a new level and a can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup, most likely thrown with the intent to hit me, lands nicely on the moving conveyor belt and rides up for it's turn to be scanned. Now we have a new problem. His sippy cup, my coupon organizer, the already-paid-for cough perscription and a shoe hit the conveyor belt next. My verbal requests to not throw anything else on top of the produce go ignored so I have to stop unloading the cart and leap to catch him as he leans too far over to dump his fruit snacks on the moving black belt next. I save the fruit snacks, get him re-seated, unload the last few things and push he and the cart ahead of me for the bagger to load. I'm doing controlled inhales and exhales at the card swipe machine while Aiden is the bag boy's problem for a moment. And then I see it. Coming defiantly and triumphantly down the conveyor belt at the very end of the line is the empty, crumpled foil fruit snack wrapper. I've been outdone. Against all odds, more spice has been added to my already crazy, spiced-up life and he's the best one yet. He constantly reminds me that I simply will not be allowed to take anything too seriously or ever be too stubborn because it's useless. He's teaching me that when those empty wrappers come down the line in life and they're nothing more than a fleeting moment's inconvenience, JUST LAUGH!

A Minute To Breathe

Okay, I've got a minute to breathe between holiday gift deliveries and jewelry orders so let me catch you up on my (unexciting) life! I've hardly left the house in the last two weeks so Brian and I have planned a much-needed date night for Saturday. I'm sooooooo excited to dress up and go out! I just finished my forty-seventh or so piece of jewelry and I'm so glad I began building up my bead inventory in August. Unfortunately I put off Christmas shopping (which I also normally begin in August and have finished by November) but this year has been a painful reminder of why my shopping needs to be done by Thanksgiving. I'll be better about it next year! LOL!

Meanwhile, I've loved all the custom orders and really gotten to stretch my creativity lately. (Hence, the blog absence.) I cut some vinyl for my house, which just went up on the walls this afternoon (see: other things I should have done by Thanksgiving). I also discovered that low-tack vinyl application tape has the perfect amount of stickiness for removing glitter from a toddler's soft skin without hurting them when they pull a half-dozen glitter balls & snowflakes off your tree to pile in the middle of the living room floor while you have your back turned to hang the vinyl.

I had anticipated the tree being a problem so I bought all shatter-proof ornaments and let Aiden select a 'special' ornament that he can pull off the tree and play with any time he'd like. (He chose a silver Eiffel Tower. He loves my little model ones and about fell out of the shopping cart as he leapt for the ornament version when we passed it at Target. I love his ornament! I was afraid we'd end up with Lightning McQueen on the tree...) However, the rest of the ornaments are off-limits. Or so I say. EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm not looking, he runs to the tree and starts plucking things off. Or I'll hear the light tinkling of the jingle bells, followed by a very metallic PING-JANG-JANG-JANG as they ricochet & bounce across the tile while he shouts 'I fro ball!' or something similar. If I'm not paying him enough attention at the moment (read: in the bathroom), he'll bring me one and give me a very stern 'no no' as soon as he places it in my hands.

Actually, I'm afraid I have created my own problem there. ALL my psychology texts say that children will usually resort to misbehavior when they want attention. It's easy for me to spot this so I'll often stop and ask Aiden if he needs a hug instead of telling him 'no' for the billionth time about throwing the mail on the floor or standing on the open dishwasher door. Only problem is Aiden doesn't seem to understand he can ASK for a hug. Instead, he does something blatant & obviously naughty to get my attention, most likely hoping a hug will follow. Today he barged into the office, crossed the room and threw the biggest fistful of vinyl he could grab across the floor before turning to look at my surprised expression. His little bottom lip pouted out a fraction of an inch as he processed the agitated look on my face. How could I be mad at that pout?!!! When I gently said 'You must really need a hug', he barrelled into my arms and he hugged me like he never has before, burrying his head under my chin and wrapping all four limbs tight around me. I'm not entirely sure what upset him (my attention to hanging vinyl?) but I was completely melted! We played in the playroom for the next hour and a half and then cleaned up and packed some old toys away to make room for new Christmas toys coming. He had a great time and I did, too! He's such a cool little kid. And I'm amazed at how much he can make me laugh! This morning I carried him into the pantry and asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He simply replied 'food'.

Work

Brian and I were talking last night about how Aiden uses the word 'work'. Every morning he wakes up and sometime in those first few minutes he will listen to the quiet house and then ask "Dad work?" Lately the questions have been phrased more like statements and he doesn't cry any more that dad is gone for the day. Well, at dinner last night Aiden could tell I was getting ready for something (a friend to come over) so he asked "Mama work?" to see if his interpretation that I was doing something different and might leave was correct. It made us laugh! Looking back on it, I wish I would have explained myself a bit further to him instead of simply saying no, I was staying here. His interpretation of my behaviors was correct, it was his anticipated outcome that was different, but I should have pointed out he was right so he wouldn't doubt himself in the future. Brian and I mused that he must think the word work means you disappear mysteriously but you always come back later.

This morning I traded Aiden his breakfast for his blanket that he loves and snuck it in to the washer. I had a doll as a child so I am compassionate when it comes to objects of attachment and I always run the washer on it's shortest cycle and dry the blanket first by itself so Aiden isn't without it for long. Irregardless, the washer hadn't quite finished the rinse cycle when he noticed it was gone. He whimpered 'blanket' as he rushed through the house, checking his crib, the playroom and the kitchen while I quickly slipped the now-washed blanket into the dryer. I tried to comfort him, knowing a meltdown was fast approaching and wondering if there was any way to hurry the drying along. All of a sudden, Aiden ran crying to the front door, pulled back the blinds and silently stared out. With more sadness in his voice than I have ever heard he simply and defeatedly stated "Blanket Work" as he watched the gray storm clouds pass outside. After a minute he calmly put the blinds back in place and sulked up to me. He stopped at my feet, gave me the saddest, most pleading look and with complete faith that I could deliver, said "Mama, want blanket." I scooped him up and was in the laundry room getting his dry-enough blanket so quickly that he didn't realize what had happened until he felt the familiar fleecy texture in is hands. His laugh and the way he clutched his blanket and snuggled in to me totally made my day! I just hope tomorrow he doesn't expect me to magically pull daddy out of the dryer...

The 'House' Word Mystery

Aiden has recently discovered the power of 'I want', especially since his annoying squaks and screams resulted in him getting all the wrong snack foods, toys and pretty much the complete opposite of whatever item he was acutally wanting. It took about 3 days of persistently asking him to 'use words' and then it clicked. He speaks real english around the clock and the screaming has been greatly reduced.

Lately he's been using the word 'house' in very odd ways. Frequently he will say 'I want house' or will just run up smiling and shout 'House!' Most of the time he says it when we're actually at home and since he doesn't have any toy houses, we were confused. Until this evening. I had just finished reading Aiden a book on the couch when he looked out the window towards the rapidly darkening sky and asked 'Daddy work?' I told him, yes, daddy was at work and that he would be home soon. He looked at me and said 'I want...' and paused for a moment before finishing with 'house'. I think the confusion was apparent on my face because he suddenly started jumping on the couch, making monkey noises and looking at me with the same gleam in his eye that Brian gets right before he pounces and tackles me. Instantly I understood. "You want to rough house!"

Indeed, sunset is the usual time of day that Brian and Aiden rough house. Since daylight savings time has thrown Aiden's visual time cues off, he asked about Brian and then decided it didn't matter who was around. He was ready to play!

The most fun was seeing Brian's face light up with realization when he got home and I told him the story. I feel like an interpreter most days, repeating Aiden's martian garble so Brian can understand what he is asking. I'm fluent from constant exposure! LOL! I'm sure Aiden is relieved that we are understanding him better.

I will add that his newest word 'canny' (candy) is VERY clear and we have had to hide all the halloween candy and anything resembling a sucker. On Sunday he settled for a caramel apple rind on a popsicle stick as a 'sucker' when I wouldn't let him have one before dinner. Halloween introduced him to candy. NOW I fear the grocery store checkout lane...

Aiden Pics & Stories

Lately if the camera comes out it's during nap time so I can take photos of my projects. Sadly I didn't realize it had been TWO WEEKS since I got some shots of Aiden. I know you all want to see some pictures and hear some funny Aiden stories. The kid is one wild child, isn't he?



Can you just hear the "ah-ah-ah!" as he jumps on the couch? (Might I add that he doesn't hold still long enough for my little camera to focus and shoot. I have to take him to Kelsey if I want anything not blurred these days. I sooooo need to get a Canon Rebel. That's all there is to it. Otherwise I simply won't have clear pictures of my child. Sad!)

Next: Jumping on the couch actually shown:



In his hand is one of my little metal Eiffel Tower sculptures Sheena brought back from Paris years ago. I have a large & small one and he loves them both. I think he's the only 18 month old that can correctly identify and say 'Eiffel Tower', no matter where he sees it. Mostly at Hobby Lobby....this typically interrups him shouting 'Fwower!' (flower) to shout 'Efffe Towur'. You should see how the older women stare at us. LOL!



Sitting on his octopus chair still talking about the Efffe Towur....



Now he's up on one of the kitchen chairs (this is about 16 seconds after the last photo), pausing to look at me when I ask him if he is supposed to be up there. He was a late climber (thank goodness) but now he climbs on everything. I don't even try to stop him. I just pluck him off of whatever he's managed to scale and get stuck on when he calls for help. (read: screams incoherently)



This pic I took earlier this morning, when he ran away from me and refused to get dressed. I don't even protest any more. He's gotten into these drinkable yogurts lately and although I put a straw in them, he still manages to dump some of it down his chest. It's easier to leave him undressed for breakfast. And most of the morning. And the afternoon.....heck, I've dramatically cut down on his laundry by only dressing him for half the day!

Aiden Story: Aiden loves being outside in our front yard, where I have lots of lantana and flowering society garlic planted. He always loved poking at the little blooms (and the wasps and bees) so it was natural that "flower" was a word he quickly added to his small vocabulary several months back. Fast forward to now and he's a flower fanatic. He LOVES that he sees them and can identify them everywhere. He's fascinated by how they grow outside but can also be found inside at craft stores, grocery stores and on girl's head bands at church. The floral department at Hobby Lobby is enough to hyperventilate him with repeating 'fwower', as if every tiny bloom must be aknowledged. He's got that big orange silk gerber daisy we bought last week that he plays with - or hits the dog with - every day. (He especially likes to bring me flowers to smell and then have me swoon over my little Romeo and smother him in kisses! LOL!) Well, as you can imagine, a little boy going nuts over flowers is bound to raise some old-fashioned eyebrows. Yesterday at the grocery store, while we were standing in line to check out, he saw a heaping table of fresh cut sunflowers and went nuts. The lady at the register followed his line of sight and commented "I've never seen a boy like flowers so much", as if she thought I needed some prompting to get his behavior (or preferences?) in check. I laughed and said "He loves them. He has a couple fake ones at home that he always brings me to smell. His wife will be very lucky." She actually smiled back, considering my new point and said "Flowers all the time. That would be nice, wouldn't it!"

I am completely enjoying the moment because I know it will soon be followed by "Kerpow! Kerpow! I shot you! You're dead!" and other little boy shoutings at strangers in the middle of the grocery store aisle. I'll take the unsure glances from other people now because I know that if I ever discourage his interests in any way, the world will loose a future landscape architect, botanist or biotechnologist. I'd rather see a stranger stare at me now than see my son unhappily pushing paper in the rat race his entire adult life. Let the boy poke at flowers!

Brian & Aiden Story: Aiden is himself 24/7 and at 18 months mother nature has ensured that I will have to pick my battles or constantly live at war. I'm perfectly fine with picking my battles but I find it humorous how the house changes on the weekend when Brian is home. Bri is NOT okay with picking his battles. He thinks I'm lax and that Aiden lacks discipline. Every Saturday and Sunday, at sometime during the day the boys will engage in what I have mentally been calling "Stubborn vs. Mother Nature". Aiden will crawl on top of his little Ikea table, Brian will take him down and tell him 'no'. Aiden instantly climbs back up. Brian sets him back down and says 'no' again. Repeat eight or nine more times. I am trying not to smile (or intervene) but I'm afraid Brian's stubborness has met it's match. Eventually Brian will either give up or decide it's close enough to nap time for Aiden to go to his crib. Every once in a while Brian will see Aiden's mild misbehavior for what it is (a request for attention and an invitation to play) and will end the table conflict with a round of airplane through the house.

Honestly, Aiden climbs up on his table five times a day and then climbs safely back down on his own, after poking at the phone or other harmless items on the counter. It's not a big deal to me. It's not a battle I choose to fight right now. Some day soon he'll be forming sentences more clearly and be past his frustration at not being able to communicate and he will listen better. He'll understand all my words and will begin to trust that I'm saving him from harm and injury, not ruining all his exploration fun. But when I'm busy at the sink or the stove and I request that he entertain himself without me providing an activity, a sibling or a playmate, I think it's fine to do a little table climbing. Because really, breaking the rules is about getting attention. Attention a parent cannot always give immediately or positively. Ignoring the rule breaking and rewarding the appropriate ways of asking for attention is discipline. So what if the kids table has a few footprints on it along the way. ;)

1 going on 15

Aiden has recently discovered my iPod and I've discovered that, just like his dad, he loves music. But migraine-inducing, annoying children's songs are banned from our house until he's at least old enough to beg for it in complete sentences! Currently on my iPod are some fun, top 40 songs that I like to listen to while I house clean or craft. When Aiden wouldn't sit still in the tiny exam room at the doctor's office yesterday, I pulled the iPod out and let him have full control. It's a RIOT seeing an 18 month old with the white ear buds on, holding the tiny electronic and listening calmly (and, OMGosh, quietly!) to what he's hearing! Hey, it kept him still for ten minutes. Even Disney can't do that.

Yesterday I tackled cleaning out the office. New floors are going in on Friday so everything has to come out. Only problem is the office has taken the brunt of Baby Daze, Super Saturday, the three craft shows, Hurricane Ike, all my on-going craft projects and the huge vinyl cutting job I'm doing for my mom. To say it was a disaster was an understatement. I spent all day cleaning it out with lots of help from Aiden. We got it done just minutes before Brian got home. Here's what I learned:

1. Toddlers are naturally and instantly attracted to the most sharp or dangerous objects in any room.

2. After that, they are attracted to the most expensive items and electronics in the room.

3. All buttons must be pressed repeatedly, no matter how many times mom says "no" or how close the computer/printer/digital camera/vinyl cutter sounds like it's going to grind to a hault and die from abuse.

4. The only thing better than scattering the contents of a bin on the floor is to follow it with the contents of another bin so mom really can't tell what went where.

5. Unrolling brand new vinyl is a great way to get mom to pick you up.

6. Empty print cartridges will still leave ink on your lips if you try to lick them.

At one point yesterday when Aiden was bored with the clean out, he walked along the edge of the cluttered desk, looking at me with an amused expression and skimming his hands along the items, patting each one and moving on, just to see what thing would get the biggest reaction out of me when he touched it. I tried to let him have fun exploring but when his little hand landed on my pointed vinyl weeding tool, I gasped and said "No, Sharp!" Of course that was the reaction he was looking for. A smile began to spread across his face as his hand immediately closed around the point and he stuck himself. He melted into tears, more out of frustration than the tiny jab that didn't leave a mark. Stubborn mischeviousness can be painful. For everyone! LOL!

Aiden, Nursery & Gravity

The title says it all, right? Today Brian took Aiden into the church nursery a few weeks early to start getting him used to it. (How can my baby already be coming up on 18 months?!!!) Any ways, after play time in nursery they sit the children down for a snack, have them fold their arms for a prayer and then pass out a treat with little paper dixie cups of water before they clean up for coloring time.

Aiden watched with obvious admiration as a few of the other boys whooped and hollered when it was time for snacks and even joined in with a bit of paper towel throwing. When snacks were passed out he politely ate his and picked up the new word "MINE" from his tablemates.

I should add that the rest of the afternoon he spent practicing the word, insisting that every book and toy was 'mine'. We didn't argue with him because it's true. They really are his. We're hoping this word won't stick but it seems to be a rite of toddlerhood passage and I'm sure it will soon be followed by shoves to playmates to prove his 90th percentile size MAKES the toys his. Oh, and that's not all he picked up in nursery today. Brian and I exchanged a look of horror when he followed one statement with "Why?"

Back to snack time. I watched in calm silence as Aiden was initiated into nursery by pouring the contents of his much-too-full dixie cup straight into his lap and I smiled politely when told that all the new kids do it. This cup was immediately replaced with another half as full and he actually seemed to get some of the water into his mouth before finishing the impromptu baptism with a splash down the front of his shirt. I'll skip the Gymboree outfit and send him to church in a swim suit next week for round two of the initiation. Maybe I'll pack a towel, too, so he doesn't have to drip-dry during coloring time.

I slipped back out of nursery and met up with Brian after church to find Aiden's best blue polo covered in red dribble stains. Brian informed me that he ate a red crayon in the one nanosecond he wasn't watching him and we have some things to practice at home. (Shame on me for buying the more expensive twistables crayons that are all plastic and difficult to eat...)

This afternoon I moved his little table from the playroom to the kitchen so we can practice sitting on a chair at a table, not throwing our paper towels (too much) and not insisting that our neighbor's snacks are "mine" no matter how insistent they are that your snacks are theirs. We also practiced folding our arms and trying to be quieter for prayers. We haven't really pushed Aiden do this before, we just insist he sit in our lap and try to keep him quiet as prayers are said. Tonight he quickly picked up on the "fun" arm-folding trick I was trying to show him. He beamed up at me, balled his little hands into fists and slammed his knuckels together in a move mildly reminiscent of something I've seen martial art fighters do before they bow to an opponent. He's such a comedian I couldn't help but laugh aloud! So long as he's not injuring his neighbors in nursery I'm sure no one will mind his Zen prayer posture.

Back to the table. Twice he fell off the chair and once he pulled the table over on top of himself AND fell out of his chair at the same time. (Those must be my genes at work.) Luckily Ikea children's furniture is nothing more than bolted-together dowel rods and painted white refrigerator box pieces so he wasn't injured, just frightened. He now approaches the table with caution, telling it "no no" as he sits down, as if it will tackle him to the ground at any minute.

I'm anxious to see how this week goes. I'm planning on practicing prayers at several random times (like fire drills) so we can work on his thai chi arm folding and reverence while digging through my parenting books for new ideas on how to handle this "mine" thing he's picked up. I'll admit I'm a little worried that nursery will turn my busy-but-sweet-hearted little boy into a non-stop-terror of a toddler but I know that he'll have fun. It will be a great way for me to learn how to be a playful parent and if nothing else, I'll learn to relax. I am the mother of a boy and I swear, they put you through so much that whether you like it or not, you learn to be cool!