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Saturday, July 26, 2008

On The Mend

I don't really want to think about this last week but there's too much funny stuff to not mention so let's catch you up!

First, I'm sure you'll want to hear about the stool collections. I know I can be a tad dramatic sometimes but the pure honest truth is that when I said Aiden had liquid poo I meant it. It was the consistency of orange juice and soaked into his diaper before I could ever hope of collecting it. One stool test required I fill a urine sample cup half way. With what, I don't know, since it's all liquid and either leaking out and soaking his clothes or absorbing into his diaper faster than I can move. I am left scraping tiny poo fragments out of his diaper into this cup in the hopes that I'll somehow get enough. Aiden sees me doing this a couple times and each time he watches with an odd look on his face and offers several "uh-ohs" and "nah-nah-nahs" to tell me I shouldn't be playing with dirty diapers.

After collecting bits from eleven or so diapers I decide the lab staff is just going to have to make do with the bottom of the cup being covered. Aiden is down for a nap when I finish the last collection and decide my entire kitchen needs to be completely sanitized. I'm scrubbing it down with my new favorite cleaner, OdoBan, when I flip the spray bottle over to see if I can use it to wipe down my porous wooden knife block. It's the first time I see "for use on nonfood surfaces only" and "do not use around children or animals" printed on the two sided peel-back label. I freeze, my stomach drops and I wonder if I have been accidentally poisoning my baby. I call the 800 number and talk to an OdoBan customer service rep. I get the web address for the material safety data sheet, print it out, wake up Aiden and take him, the sheet and the stool samples to the pediatrician's. I beg the lab to test the stool samples for the chemicals in the cleaner but since this isn't CSI they don't know how. They tell me to go home and call poison control. (Where the heck is Greg and the CSI Crime Lab with that cool chemical-goes-in-results-come-out printer thing when you need it?)

Back home we go and I am happy that the poison control magnet taking up space on the side of my fridge has been put to use. On the line I get one of the most disgruntled, sarcastic males working the call center that day. In a calm, normal conversational voice I tell him I need some information about a chemical my son has come in to contact with. He sounds mildly scripted as he replies "Okay, mom, take a deeeeeep breath and tell me the name of the chemical." I tell him it's the ready-to-use OdoBan spray and he asks how much of the bottle Aiden has drank. I stiffle a laugh and explain he hasn't drunk the chemical but he has had hand-to-mouth contact with surfaces cleaned with it. The gentleman on the line sounds as if he's speaking to a third grader when he says "There's nothing in this cleaner but isopropyl alcohol and detergents. It's no more dangerous than baby bubble bath and wouldn't cause the symptoms you described." I tell him the label says it will kill every germ, pet and small child in your house so how can it possibly be that mild? He swears I've bought expensive scented rubbing alcohol and there's nothing to worry about. We speculate that making it sound dangerous makes people believe it works well. And a little CYA never hurts a company these days, either. Our conversation ends with the poison control center dude assuring me other children have drank the stuff and been fine, aside from possibly having highly fragranced dirty diapers. (Could have used some of those earlier....) So that's out. Thank goodness I haven't made Aiden sick. Well, with my cleaning any ways. At that point the jury is still out on my cooking.

I talk with Brian later that afternoon and find out he's come down with the same thing Aiden has so now we're sure it's a stomach bug. (Sounds like my cooking isn't to blame, either.) So both my boys are sick and it's going to be a long weekend!

Here are some pics from last week that I just got around to downloading from the camera:

July 17: Aiden playing the part of a dashing villan with a chocolate pudding goatee.

July 21: A little goofing off at lunch time

See the banana chip he stuck in his hair? I bought these low sugar dried banana chips thinking "yay, organic whole foods!" and they taste like garbage. Actually, if you close your eyes, they taste like a slightly stale, under-salted baked lays potato chip. Not at all what I was expecting from dried bananas that looked like they were lightly glazed in caramel....

July 21: A little bubble beard action in the tub (after washing dried, salty banana out of his hair)

July 22: This was Aiden's first time to play with the bucket of sidewalk chalk he got for his birthday. I drew most of that, showing him how chalk worked. The blue blob is a tracing of his croc. The very faint, light scribbles around the edges are his work. (Not shown: the scribbles on the house, the garage, attempting to draw on the plants & the dirt in the pots and the slightly snacked-on yellow piece of chalk.) This was a couple hours before my kidney stone attack and I haven't taken any pictures since then. I've been too busy changing poopy diapers every 30 minutes. Let's hope next week is better. Oh, did I mention on top of all of this week's events, our ice maker broke? I'll be stuck at home on Monday morning waiting for the repair man to come fix it when all I really want is a day at the pool with no more poo!!!!

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